Communication of foster parents with a child
It can be difficult for foster parents to have a good relationship with the child, but doing so is extremely important. The child is uncomfortable with the new environment, unusual for him, therefore it is difficult for him and his new parents at first to be open with each other. In other words, the relationship between the adoptive parents and the child begins with a feeling of discomfort. These relationships can become close and warm over time, but this is not easy to achieve.
Children experience heavy emotions when adoptive parents appear in their lives, so it may take them a while to get used to them.
Usually, parents know that they have a difficult relationship with the child, so they get used to the changes before the child. Parents prepare for this relationship before the child appears in the family. We can say that relations are developing even before its appearance.
Foster children may experience surprise, shock, anger, hostility, or jealousy. However, it is important for parents to establish a good relationship with them. This will help the child feel safe in the new family and will contribute to his healthy development in the future.
But what should parents do to establish such a relationship with the child? Consider a few tips.
1. Take care of discipline
Before starting to raise a foster child, parents should think about what orders are adopted in the family. After this, you should consult with your spouse about what changes should be made in the usual order with the advent of the child.
Before establishing new rules, they should be discussed with both the spouse and the child: voice their expectations of the child’s behavior and the consequences in case of violation of the rules.
It’s best to write down the rules. So the child will learn that they are one for all members of the family – both for him and for the parents.
2. Pay attention to emotions
If a child is rude to his foster parents, do not take it at your own expense. A child may behave this way because of a feeling of jealousy and at first may not want to make contact with new parents. They should understand that the negative emotions of the child are not directed at them personally, but at all the changes that he faces. Therefore, do not take it personally.
3. Respect each other
Parents should also determine the rules of respect in the family. For example, an adopted child may not like its adoptive parents or certain situations. But in the family, everyone should respect each other.
In such situations, the common position of the parents is important, so both parents must make sure that they agree with the established rules and both are ready to fulfill them.
4. Spend more time with your family
In order to strengthen the bond with the child, it is sometimes good for foster parents to put aside planned activities and spend this time with the child. However, much depends on the family. If the child still does not feel safe in the new family, the couple of hours that his parents spend with him will not solve this problem. Therefore, instead of taking your child for a walk spontaneously, plan ahead in advance the time you spend with the whole family. This is better than having a child in private.
However, sometimes there are exceptions: for example, the adoptive father can play football with the child. Therefore, in such cases, everything depends on the specific situation, but to help the child join the new family, you should spend more time together.
5. Respect the biological parents of the child
Even in a new family, the child remains emotionally connected with his biological parents. In some cases, the child can even communicate with them. Therefore, foster parents should respect not only the child, but also his biological parents, to refrain from disrespectful statements addressed to them. This is very important in order to establish a good relationship with the child. It may take him a while to get used to his new family.
6. Be patient
In some families, a child joins a new family very quickly and gets along well with foster parents. In others, tension first arises. Therefore, foster parents should be patient and make efforts in order to build a relationship with the child.
Parents often do not understand whether everything is in order in their relationship with the child. People often don’t appreciate the efforts they make to establish close contact with the child. Remember that the work of foster parents cannot be appreciated by those who have not been in this role.