Good relationship with daughter: advice to fathers
Even if you can never see the world through the eyes of your daughter, this does not mean that you cannot establish a strong relationship with her. If you want your daughter to grow up a confident girl, she needs the support of her father.
Many fathers feel insecure and even experience little fear when they talk with their daughters about their appearance. Often fathers think: “How can I help? I don’t understand anything about this. ”
Don’t worry that you don’t have all the answers to your daughter’s questions. Just listen and talk to her. Let her share her thoughts with you and find a possible solution herself. Instill in her faith in her own strength – this will help her cope with various difficulties in the future and increase her self-esteem.
Form your daughter’s positive attitude towards her appearance
Comments that girls hear about them often relate to their appearance, for example: “You are so beautiful” or “Your hair looks great.” You know very well that the advantages of your daughter are not only in good looks. You know the features of her character, talents and abilities. Pay attention to your daughter. Using phrases such as “you shared a treat with your sister – you are so kind”, “you found a very smart way to solve the problem,” you help her realize her uniqueness.
By shifting the focus from your daughter’s appearance to other qualities, you help her understand her strengths and develop self-confidence. Paradoxical as it may seem, if you do not talk with your daughter about her appearance, you will help her to perceive her appearance positively.
Show your daughter your sensitivity
In many cultures, it is not customary for men to show feelings — especially weakness and vulnerability. You must be strong to protect your family, so you may feel uncomfortable seeing how your daughter is experiencing difficult feelings.
No need to be ashamed to show your feelings in the presence of a daughter. This will help you build a strong relationship with your daughter and allow you to communicate closer.
When you show your daughter your weakness, this allows her to accept her own weaknesses. Such an emotional connection brings warmth, compassion and sincerity to your communication.
Think about your attitude towards women
Ask your daughter: “What do you think I think of you?” Perhaps her answer will surprise you.
Remember that girls form their own self based on comments and actions directed in their direction. This applies to all relationships of the daughter, especially relations with parents. How you relate to her, as well as to your spouse and other women, directly affects her self-esteem.
Growing up, the daughter gradually forms an attitude towards herself, and it is largely based on the opinion of her parents. Her self-esteem depends on how much you value, respect and accept her.
Overcome communication barriers
Your daughter complains: “Dad never listens to me, but only indicates what to do”? When it opens to you, do not rush to express your point of view: if the daughter does not immediately understand your thought, she distances herself from you. Instead, show that you listen to her and empathize with her. For example, say: “I understand that you feel pain and are angry.” This will make her understand that you take her seriously, and will teach you to trust your feelings, and will also strengthen self-confidence.
Her daughter’s relationship with you throughout her life will affect her relationship with men: colleagues, friends, partners, etc. One day she will fall in love and will show the empathy, respect and understanding that you once taught her. In this you are the main example for her.
Finally, here are a few brief rules to help you build relationships with your daughter:
when she is having difficulty, invite her to speak out and find a possible solution to the problem;
acknowledge her emotions. Do not try to change them. Show that you care about how your daughter feels;
Do not focus on her appearance and do not tease her. Your jokes may seem harmless to you, but they affect your daughter;
create special moments. Together, do what pleases both of you: do sports, cook, listen to music, etc .;
write a letter to your daughter. Express your feelings in it and make it clear that you are proud of it;
open your daughter, let her know you better;
acknowledge that you are still working on your self-esteem and self-confidence;
Focus on what you are alike: not only in appearance, but also in your strengths, in that you both love or find it funny;
talk with your spouse and other fathers who raise daughters. Share your concerns and ask for support.
Moms can also help their daughters communicate more closely with their fathers. First of all, they should recognize the influence of the father on the development of the daughter and in every possible way to facilitate communication between them.