Work and baby: tips for single mothers
Anna, the mother of a 4-year-old child, says: “If someone had told me 4 years ago that in a year I would raise a child myself, I would have laughed. Unfortunately, life does not always turn out the way we want. At 23, I was left alone with my daughter. At first, it was difficult for me to work full time, and then find time for my daughter.
I began to realize that, torn between work, household chores and raising my daughter, I lose myself. I do not give myself time to let go of a failed relationship or to think what I did wrong. I began to live by inertia. It seems to me that all parents feel something similar, but there were no family or friends near me, so the situation seemed hopeless to me. But I discovered a few important things that helped me get things going. ”
Consider several ways to take care of yourself in a difficult life situation, as well as find more time for raising a child.
1. Get help
It is extremely difficult for many single mothers to ask for help from others. Often they feel that they must make excuses. To ask for someone’s help is to admit defeat. But if they continue to cope with everything alone, then very soon they will become prone to emotional burnout, and this will also become their defeat.
Recognize that you cannot do all the things yourself – and you will be surprised to see how many people around are ready to help you. You can ask for help from parents (although not all single mothers are so close to their parents), relatives, or friends. You can ask one of them to look after the child for several hours so you can devote this time to yourself or do your homework.
2. Find time for yourself
Find something to help you relieve stress (such as painting or music). Firstly, it helps to get rid of negative emotions. Secondly, if you like drawing, for example, your child will be able to be around and draw with you.
It is also important to leave your home from time to time. Whether you are going out with friends, going on a date, or just going shopping, you need to find someone to sit with the child at this time. To get rid of the stress that haunts us at every step, you need to be distracted from time to time and have fun.
3. Set the boundaries
Differentiate work and personal life. Leave all work affairs at work. Everyone should take this advice. Your child is happy when you return home. And if you bring stress and negative emotions from work, you cannot fully devote time to your child. And vice versa: household chores should be left at home. You may have the best boss who understands your life situation, but during working hours you should do work. Work brings a lot of stress, and to cope with it, you must clearly observe the boundaries between work and personal life.
4. Take time to talk with your child
Spend some time talking with your child. Do not engage in extraneous affairs at this time. Being at home does not always mean spending time with your child. If you are sitting at a computer or chatting with someone on the phone, the child does not perceive it as if you were spending time with him. If you have a lot of housework, you can play with the child, complete the necessary work, and then return to the child again.
To do the housework and spend time with the child, let him help you with household chores (for example, your daughter can help you with cooking or cleaning).
Give your child a day off. Let him come up with a day plan. Do something he likes: go to the amusement park, eat ice cream, etc. Probably, you will also like to return to childhood for one day.
5. Just do what you have to do.
Being a mother means taking on many responsibilities. Sometimes we are not ready for such difficulties. The whole secret of good motherhood is to, in spite of everything, do everything necessary so that the child has a happy childhood.
Sometimes you can lose your temper, sometimes you just don’t have the strength. But when your child hugs you, you feel like the happiest mom on Earth. Your child forgives you fatigue and even your severe treatment. If you follow the above tips, it will help to balance both your life and the life of your child.