Relatives in raising children: “for” and “against”
When a child appears in a family, it becomes a source of happiness for everyone. However, for working parents, caring for a small child can be too tiring. There are situations when you need the help of another person to sit with the child. If you live together or at least in the same city with your parents, you do not need to hire a nanny or worry that you will not have anyone to leave the child with.
When you leave your child with relatives is the best way to make sure that he is under reliable supervision. For young parents combining work with raising a child, this brings great relief. When they leave a child with a stranger (such as a nanny), this can cause them anxiety. The reason for this is mistrust.
But even if family members or relatives are engaged in raising a child, this phenomenon has its positive and negative sides. Parents need to constantly pay attention to how such education affects the child. Therefore, let us consider in more detail all the pros and cons of the participation of relatives or the nanny in raising a child.
Education takes place in the family circle. The main advantage of involving relatives in the child’s upbringing is that outsiders do not participate in the upbringing. Children are closer to relatives (for example, grandmothers) and, in turn, are themselves more important to them. Relatives know how to instill in a child the right values of life and how to ensure that he develops correctly when you are not around. Therefore, why hire a nanny if you can entrust the raising of a child to a relative?
You have common life values. In the process of raising a child, relatives pass on to him vital values and rules of behavior that are close to you. This means that the child will learn the same values and skills that you would like to teach him and which the nanny or teachers in the kindergarten would not be able to give him.
The child will be raised at home. When relatives watch over a child, he is always at home. There is no need to take him to kindergarten every day. At home, the child feels comfortable and therefore studies better.
Parenting at home is cheaper or even free. One of the main reasons why young parents involve relatives in raising a child is that it costs them a lot less than hiring a nanny. If relatives live near you, such an upbringing may cost you nothing. Very often, grandmothers or aunts act as free nannies for the child. And it becomes a big advantage for parents.
Of course, attracting parents to raising a child has not only advantages, but also disadvantages:
Relatives may take offense at the fact that you take too much care on them. Young parents may be too intrusive in their requests to look after the child. Sometimes they even exert emotional pressure on the grandmother, saying that she should look after the child, and they need more rest. Therefore, when it comes to caring for a child, make sure that you do not put too many responsibilities on relatives.
In the process of raising a child, you may have disagreements with relatives. The main disadvantage faced by parents and relatives caring for a child is the disagreement over parenting. Each of the relatives has his own habits and lifestyle. These habits are also transmitted to the child if a relative takes care of him. For example, if a grandmother raising a child is used to going to bed late, then the child will stay too late. From your point of view, it is unacceptable to spank a child, but grandfather may have a different opinion on this. Different views of relatives on the process of education can cause additional difficulties.
You and your relatives may have different life principles. Your parents raised you according to certain rules, which do not necessarily coincide with those that you adhere to in raising their children. Therefore, entrusting the upbringing of a child to your grandmother, be prepared for the fact that she will educate him according to the old rules, with which you may not agree. And if adults set conflicting rules for a child, this will confuse him.
If a child is brought up at home, he communicates less with other children. When you send your child to kindergarten, he spends a lot of time with other children and learns what he was not taught at home. Your relatives who raise a child may not allow him to communicate with the children in the yard, fearing that they will have a bad effect on the child. This will make it difficult for the child to develop in many areas.
It is worth involving relatives in raising a child when you have no choice: you do not have the opportunity to send him to kindergarten or use the services of a nanny. If you entrust the raising of a child to relatives, weigh the pros and cons by making such a decision. This will help you avoid future problems.