How to behave with competing parents
Striving to survive in a world full of competition, some parents want their children to succeed in all areas of life and be better than their peers in everything. Surely you came across such parents and did not know how to behave. In this article, we will look at some tips on how to behave with competing parents.
Competing, or comparing, parents not only brag about the achievements of their child, but also in every possible way belittle the achievements of other children. They comment on their achievements and humiliate them to the maximum. But that’s not all: competing parents constantly motivate their children to consistently achieve new and new goals and always be on top. Such parents do not understand the importance of healthy parenting.
For them, the process of education is a kind of competition, which is evaluated by the achievements of the child at different stages of life.
It is wrong to judge so on raising a child. There are many different approaches to education, and it is impossible to say which one is better and which is worse. It is simply necessary to understand the difference between developing a child’s strengths and motivating him to succeed in absolutely everything. Sometimes parents whose expectations from the child are too high can cross this thin line, and this adversely affects the development of the child.
How to behave with competing parents
From time to time, you encounter competing parents. It can be your work colleagues, friends, etc. What to do in this case? In fact, nothing can be done with this behavior of the parents, as this may be their inherent character trait. It is much more important to understand how to avoid communicating with such people, and if you still end up in such a company – how to behave. Consider several strategies for communicating with competing parents.
At first glance, this way of interacting with competing parents seems very simple. But actually learning how to use it is very difficult. This method is well suited when your child is still small, in other words, when you admire his first achievements, even the most insignificant. If you have enough patience, let competing parents show off their child’s accomplishments. Just listen to them and praise. This will prevent further conflicts and maintain a normal relationship between you and these parents. Ignore negative comments and focus on positive things.
A healthy discussion always brings good results in any problematic situation if your interlocutor is ready for dialogue in a positive way. If one of your friends’ parents shows competitive behavior, explain to him that even if his child has done a good job, you should not brag about it publicly. It is better to praise the child one on one, so that other parents and children do not feel embarrassed. You can limit yourself to the phrase “You did an excellent job” instead of the phrase “You’re the best.” The right words of praise let the child know that there are other children who have their own achievements. So the child learns to accept and value the achievements of others.
3. Stay away
If the methods discussed above do not work, there is an extremely simple way to cope with a person’s competitive behavior: to stay away from him or from a group of competing parents. This is very important, because the more competing parents enter into a conversation, the more complaints and conflicts appear in it. All this affects a child badly.
Encourage children whose parents display competitive behavior. Tell them a few words after each training or competition. Such children need positive reinforcement. If their parents do not give them such reinforcement, it is important that they receive it from someone else.
In addition, it will help competing parents understand the value of the efforts that the child makes to solve the problem, instead of focusing only on the end result. Pay attention to whether the child likes this or that occupation and whether he learns something valuable in the process.
This method can be used as a last resort in communication with competing parents. Honestly tell your interlocutor that you are happy with what your child does and don’t want to compete with anyone. You are proud of the achievements of your child and do not want to put pressure on him to achieve even more. This will show the child that you need to compare yourself only with yourself in the past, and not with other people. In addition, competing parents will realize that they do not behave like mature people. Parental competitive behavior is not a big problem if it does not harm children or other parents. Such behavior should not interfere with the physical, mental and mental development of children and friendly relations with other parents.