How to maintain a physical and emotional connection with children
American scientists say they can predict which couples will eventually divorce and which ones will be able to maintain happy family relationships. The point is the ratio of positive and negative interaction between spouses: in successful couples it is 5: 1. Scientists believe that this ratio is the key to prosperity in all respects, including between parents and children.
Life with all its conflicts and disagreements weakens the connection between loved ones. Parents must reestablish this connection with their children to counter such circumstances. While the children are separated from their parents, they are guided by the opinions of peers, teachers, opinions taken from the Internet, etc.
We interact with children physically, but it is equally important to maintain an emotional connection with them. It is almost impossible to effectively raise a child without establishing this type of connection with him. Therefore, it is better to think about how to prevent the problem of lack of emotional connection, until it arose. How to do it? Let’s try to figure it out.
1. Family relationships should be a priority
If you value the emotional connection with family and always restore it after a disagreement, your children will do the same.
2. Keep in touch even after a short breakup
When you leave, say goodbye. When you return, say hello. When you first see your children in the morning, greet each of them. It is advisable to reinforce your greeting with a hug. Such actions may seem obvious, but many parents do not.
Studies show that husbands who, in the morning, leaving for work, kiss their wives, are more prosperous and happy, and also live longer than others. It has not been fully established whether this pattern remains in the relationship between parents and children, but, of course, the emotional connection with the child is strengthened from this.
3. When you get home, focus on your family
Otherwise, you will inertia think about the work meeting that has recently ended, or about what you forgot to buy in the store.
4. Until you regain contact with your family, try not to be distracted by extraneous things
The habit of asking the child how his day went, and not turning on the TV immediately upon returning home, will help you quickly restore emotional connection with the child. When the child just returned from school, distract from talking on the phone. Teach your child to chat with his family before sitting on his computer. When the spouse comes home after a working day, get distracted from all things. Restoring emotional connection with family is much more important than everyday activities.
5. Catch your child’s mood
Your mood and your child may not match. To restore an emotional connection with a child, you should understand his mood and adapt to it.
6. Connect with the child at his level
When you are on the same level with your child, he perceives your communication with him as friendly. If the child is still small, you should bend down, communicating with him to maintain eye contact at the same level. Making friends with older children means attracting attention in a harmless way, which usually involves physical contact.
7. Spend time together with the child
With a preschool child, you can sit on the floor, sit next to him and touch his world – for example, play with him a toy railroad or some imaginary game, as well as read a book to him.
When the child is ten years old, you can sit down next to him on the couch and calmly talk about how his day went, plan a day off or just discuss the movie that you watched. Do not read child moralizing, do not remind him what he should do. All this does not apply to the “quality time” that you spend with your child. “Quality time” means a complete presence in the present moment and an adequate reaction to the behavior and emotions of the child. The bottom line is just to be with your loved ones every day.
8. Let the child remain a child
The classic situation: the child is quite happy when he plays with his peers, but when you appear, he becomes depressed. This is because until this moment he felt independence and a corresponding atmosphere, and with your appearance this feeling disappeared. Treat the child with warmth so that he can relax and not feel under your supervision. This means letting your child be yourself.
Give your child the opportunity to behave childishly. Perhaps he will need to cry a couple of minutes when you do not let him ride in the car in the front seat. Preschoolers can again start talking for a while, like little children. Treat this behavior with understanding, so the child will be calmer in your company.